It PAINS me to say Goodbye :(

*sob* *sob* *sob*

NOTE: i'm going to refer to this person as "IT" ok? no offense to this person. nothing else meant, i just want to keep your identity on the DL. so this person may be either a she/he.. capiche?

i just said goodbye to someone very very near and dear to my heart.. and NO it wasn't a dearly departed kind of goodbye (and i do NOT want that kind of goodbye for IT yet!). *sighs* *sob* so yeah, masakit man sa loob ko to have to bid adieu to this person but if i don't, i would feel like i'm the one being fooled. why? well, it's one thing to be w/ that person, its another to have to only think of being w/ that person or to expect. it would hurt too much on both sides right? and selfish as it may sound but i feel it's more on the me side. the hurt part at least.

i mean to "IT"? if you can read this? i absolutely love being with you! seriously! aside from the usual people i'm w/ the next best thing is you. i don't know if your just being stupid or your really that stoic, but i feel really happy w/ you. THATS what hurts so much. its the fact that you have this effect on me but it's always hangin'. and i don't know if  the feeling is mutual but most times i feel like I'M the only one getting hurt. heee so yeah

don't take it the wrong way though. i mean like i said. i did NOT want things to have to be like this. pero i'm thinking, why prolong the agony right? i don't see any changes/developments w/ the set.up. and to tell you frankly? i think it SUCKS to feel like i'm the only one w/ sacrifices being made for this "setup". di rin naman kasi ako si superwoman. i DO get tired, i guess i just got sick of it really..

so yeah. in all fairness to whats about to happen? i don't want any hard feelings ok? and to make sure na di mo ma mis-interpret ang goodbye ko. i'll end w/ IT?, i definitely care for you! and i will miss you so sooo much! i will cherish everything from the day i met you to whenever. ok? please be happy, healthy and HAPPY (said it twice cause i really want you to be). again, i will seriously miss you.. :( *sob* *sob * *sob* loves you muchie dear "IT".. :)

again.. misses you already!

(^_~)