A Letter To You My Heart

"dear, as i look back on the things that you did for me. all the sacrifices you made just to please me. you did everything to make ME happy. not once were you selfish. you always put my happiness ahead of yours. 


i wasn't able to thank you and show you just how much i appreciated it. you showed and did things that i wasn't sure were right then. but remembering them now. I'm awed by how precious you were.

thank you dear for letting me feel and for showing me how a lady should be treated. when we were together you made it seem like i was the only person who existed. like nothing and no one else mattered, only me. till now no one has come even close to surpassing how special you made me feel. i wouldn't have asked for anything more.

i know i didn't say this much before cause i was being selfish and stupid.i also had my guards up then.but just know that i might not have said it out loud that often. but in my mind i did - i did for countless times. and i know that this may just be nothing now. 


. . but 


. . . well, I LOVED YOU. and to make up for the me from back then let me just say i love you . i love you . i love you . i love you . i love you . i love you .


i loved you so so much.
 
i miss you dear. "

A Few Years Too Late :(

*sigh*

crazy how after all these years I'd still come to think of you. what exactly did you do that made me so into you? what did you do that after all the time that went by I'd still end up wanting to go back to when it was us. i guess it was because you never really made me feel like i needed something else. you gave everything. and though we had our issues, it was always you who - not had to but wanted to - make adjustments and sacrifices. 

i denied ever having to feel anything remotely close to love with you coz' i was afraid of giving in, i guess. i was afraid of finally admitting that the one person i convinced and told myself that i wouldn't and didn't take seriously was THE one person who actually made me realize that i was. i was afraid to admit that you had such an impact on my life. so i tried my best then to mask how i felt.

i was such a pain to you. and yet you ALWAYS compromised. you understood and you forgave even if I DIDN'T. you didn't make me feel like i had to explain and that i had to say sorry even though deep down i knew i was at fault.

i took for granted the things you did when you did. but at the end of the day, just before i sleep. i knew how blessed i was to have someone like you. you didn't know this cause i never really got the chance to tell you.  and to make you feel it. we never really had the chance to get together after. but i really want you to know. 

. . . I'll say I LOVE YOU somehow

:( "You Took My Place" :(

This should wake us up.

One day, a man went to visit a church, He got there early, parked his car and got out. Another car pulled up near the driver got out and said,

" I always park there! You took my place!"

The visitor went inside for Sunday School, found an empty seat and sat down A young lady from the church approached him and stated, "That's my seat! You took my place!" The visitor was somewhat distressed by this rude welcome, but said nothing.

After Sunday School, the visitor went into the sanctuary and sat down. Another member walked up to him and said, "That's where I always sit! You took my place!" The visitor was even more troubled by this treatment, but still He said nothing.

Later as the congregation was praying for Christ to dwell among them, the visitor stood up, and his appearance began to change. Horrible scars became visible on his hands and on his sandaled feet. Someone from the congregation noticed him and called out, "What happened to you?" The visitor replied, as his hat became a crown of thorns, and a tear fell from his eye, "I took your place.."

wow, so i was right not to read this when my sister told me to. else i would've been right when i told her that i'll cry. this gave me the bumps. if this doesn't get you, me, US thinking i don't know what will. T_T

Keep Smiling (^^,)

what the fudge?!? OKAY. so before i thought my friends were absolutely NUTS whenever they said that when they see their crushes smile, it makes their ♥ hearts ♥ stop. others say that it makes them hold their breaths or something.. i now know how true that is. how true EVERYTHING is! *sorry friends*

i mean seriously! i played that part of the clip for more than a dozen times already and each time i see that ♪ smile ♪ i feel like my heart stops. literally! gahd! this is scary. :) no one could be that adorable right?! haha sheeesh. well, earth to barbie. you just found one that is. *sighs*

okay barbs take a breather! (inhales  . . . . PHEW)

. . gaaaaah! it didn't work!!! O.O (me clicks one of the tabs and guess what me is doing? . .  *sigh*)

. . okay i'm back. eeeeeeeeeeppp  it is just so so so adorable! 

i swear when that part of the clip plays (among the many other part where that gorgeous smile shows) i freakin' swear that i hold my breath for a good 5 or so secs. sighs!

i've seriously got to get a hold of myself! enough girlie! sheeesh! hahahaha

i'll just give in to my new found drug if i may call it.. ;) i can't get enough of that de-lish-ous smile! :) and those eyes . . . swoooon dont even get me started! haha 

In Deep Thought

it was only a few days ago when i noticed that I've developed this some kind of habit or mannerism of some sort where i "leave" the real world for a minute or two. you would know that i was doing what i was doing cause my face would look blank or like i'm staring into space or something.

i have no idea when this started but i do this "quirk" more often these past few weeks. i know when i'm doing it cause i have tons of things in mind. other times it happens and my mind goes blank. it's really unnerving at times since i don't really know what i'm thinking. i mean i don't have any thought in particular whenever that happens.

this little fact isn't really a big deal. i don't really care much about it. but lately i keep hearing that i look sad, i hardly smile, i look like i'm about to cry, teary eyed and etc. thats what bothers me. i don't want to come across as a lonely person. i want people to see m as a wacky, crazy, kooky nut that makes people laugh. not makes people sad..

*sigh* what to do, what to do *sigh*

Reactionista ;D

"the only people you need in your life are the ones that prove they need you in theirs"

i kind of agree to this. well, okay, i don't know what i think. how i feel. and how i should react w/ this line. but i think it is sort of, well, okay really logical. i mean why give importance to people who don't give a damn. lol

"sometime we just don't want to talk, don't take it too personally."

hahaha! this is so freakin' true. LOL i mean seriously. take a hint. did you ever consider that the person isn't in the mood? or maybe the person just needs some time off? haha hey. you be sensitive enough. ;)

more reactions later.. LOL

Arrivaderci

;)

The Price I Have to Pay

tsk tsk tsk

this is the price i have to pay for wanting to play the guitar. my fingers are gross now. seriously! the fingers on my lefty are uber thickly calloused. :( now how the heck am i going to hold hands w/ whomever now? LOL but seriously, kidding aside. like i said. it sucks that i have rough fingers but i wouldn't give up strumming my baby just to get soft ones. :)

one good thing about this is that i am positive that I'm getting good at playing. good enough not to want to put my baby down once i start strumming. ^_^ i don't think I'd ever get sick of playing. ;)

latest song i can't stop playing? :) Walang Iba by Ezra Band. really easy to play :) teehee

wonder when I'd get a hold of a guitar t'day. i don't think i can wait till i get home.. LOL enihu! :)

Arrivaderci

mwah