A Letter To You My Heart

"dear, as i look back on the things that you did for me. all the sacrifices you made just to please me. you did everything to make ME happy. not once were you selfish. you always put my happiness ahead of yours. 


i wasn't able to thank you and show you just how much i appreciated it. you showed and did things that i wasn't sure were right then. but remembering them now. I'm awed by how precious you were.

thank you dear for letting me feel and for showing me how a lady should be treated. when we were together you made it seem like i was the only person who existed. like nothing and no one else mattered, only me. till now no one has come even close to surpassing how special you made me feel. i wouldn't have asked for anything more.

i know i didn't say this much before cause i was being selfish and stupid.i also had my guards up then.but just know that i might not have said it out loud that often. but in my mind i did - i did for countless times. and i know that this may just be nothing now. 


. . but 


. . . well, I LOVED YOU. and to make up for the me from back then let me just say i love you . i love you . i love you . i love you . i love you . i love you .


i loved you so so much.
 
i miss you dear. "

A Few Years Too Late :(

*sigh*

crazy how after all these years I'd still come to think of you. what exactly did you do that made me so into you? what did you do that after all the time that went by I'd still end up wanting to go back to when it was us. i guess it was because you never really made me feel like i needed something else. you gave everything. and though we had our issues, it was always you who - not had to but wanted to - make adjustments and sacrifices. 

i denied ever having to feel anything remotely close to love with you coz' i was afraid of giving in, i guess. i was afraid of finally admitting that the one person i convinced and told myself that i wouldn't and didn't take seriously was THE one person who actually made me realize that i was. i was afraid to admit that you had such an impact on my life. so i tried my best then to mask how i felt.

i was such a pain to you. and yet you ALWAYS compromised. you understood and you forgave even if I DIDN'T. you didn't make me feel like i had to explain and that i had to say sorry even though deep down i knew i was at fault.

i took for granted the things you did when you did. but at the end of the day, just before i sleep. i knew how blessed i was to have someone like you. you didn't know this cause i never really got the chance to tell you.  and to make you feel it. we never really had the chance to get together after. but i really want you to know. 

. . . I'll say I LOVE YOU somehow

:( "You Took My Place" :(

This should wake us up.

One day, a man went to visit a church, He got there early, parked his car and got out. Another car pulled up near the driver got out and said,

" I always park there! You took my place!"

The visitor went inside for Sunday School, found an empty seat and sat down A young lady from the church approached him and stated, "That's my seat! You took my place!" The visitor was somewhat distressed by this rude welcome, but said nothing.

After Sunday School, the visitor went into the sanctuary and sat down. Another member walked up to him and said, "That's where I always sit! You took my place!" The visitor was even more troubled by this treatment, but still He said nothing.

Later as the congregation was praying for Christ to dwell among them, the visitor stood up, and his appearance began to change. Horrible scars became visible on his hands and on his sandaled feet. Someone from the congregation noticed him and called out, "What happened to you?" The visitor replied, as his hat became a crown of thorns, and a tear fell from his eye, "I took your place.."

wow, so i was right not to read this when my sister told me to. else i would've been right when i told her that i'll cry. this gave me the bumps. if this doesn't get you, me, US thinking i don't know what will. T_T

Keep Smiling (^^,)

what the fudge?!? OKAY. so before i thought my friends were absolutely NUTS whenever they said that when they see their crushes smile, it makes their ♥ hearts ♥ stop. others say that it makes them hold their breaths or something.. i now know how true that is. how true EVERYTHING is! *sorry friends*

i mean seriously! i played that part of the clip for more than a dozen times already and each time i see that ♪ smile ♪ i feel like my heart stops. literally! gahd! this is scary. :) no one could be that adorable right?! haha sheeesh. well, earth to barbie. you just found one that is. *sighs*

okay barbs take a breather! (inhales  . . . . PHEW)

. . gaaaaah! it didn't work!!! O.O (me clicks one of the tabs and guess what me is doing? . .  *sigh*)

. . okay i'm back. eeeeeeeeeeppp  it is just so so so adorable! 

i swear when that part of the clip plays (among the many other part where that gorgeous smile shows) i freakin' swear that i hold my breath for a good 5 or so secs. sighs!

i've seriously got to get a hold of myself! enough girlie! sheeesh! hahahaha

i'll just give in to my new found drug if i may call it.. ;) i can't get enough of that de-lish-ous smile! :) and those eyes . . . swoooon dont even get me started! haha 

In Deep Thought

it was only a few days ago when i noticed that I've developed this some kind of habit or mannerism of some sort where i "leave" the real world for a minute or two. you would know that i was doing what i was doing cause my face would look blank or like i'm staring into space or something.

i have no idea when this started but i do this "quirk" more often these past few weeks. i know when i'm doing it cause i have tons of things in mind. other times it happens and my mind goes blank. it's really unnerving at times since i don't really know what i'm thinking. i mean i don't have any thought in particular whenever that happens.

this little fact isn't really a big deal. i don't really care much about it. but lately i keep hearing that i look sad, i hardly smile, i look like i'm about to cry, teary eyed and etc. thats what bothers me. i don't want to come across as a lonely person. i want people to see m as a wacky, crazy, kooky nut that makes people laugh. not makes people sad..

*sigh* what to do, what to do *sigh*

Reactionista ;D

"the only people you need in your life are the ones that prove they need you in theirs"

i kind of agree to this. well, okay, i don't know what i think. how i feel. and how i should react w/ this line. but i think it is sort of, well, okay really logical. i mean why give importance to people who don't give a damn. lol

"sometime we just don't want to talk, don't take it too personally."

hahaha! this is so freakin' true. LOL i mean seriously. take a hint. did you ever consider that the person isn't in the mood? or maybe the person just needs some time off? haha hey. you be sensitive enough. ;)

more reactions later.. LOL

Arrivaderci

;)

The Price I Have to Pay

tsk tsk tsk

this is the price i have to pay for wanting to play the guitar. my fingers are gross now. seriously! the fingers on my lefty are uber thickly calloused. :( now how the heck am i going to hold hands w/ whomever now? LOL but seriously, kidding aside. like i said. it sucks that i have rough fingers but i wouldn't give up strumming my baby just to get soft ones. :)

one good thing about this is that i am positive that I'm getting good at playing. good enough not to want to put my baby down once i start strumming. ^_^ i don't think I'd ever get sick of playing. ;)

latest song i can't stop playing? :) Walang Iba by Ezra Band. really easy to play :) teehee

wonder when I'd get a hold of a guitar t'day. i don't think i can wait till i get home.. LOL enihu! :)

Arrivaderci

mwah

Go Barbie Go! ;D

okay so. uber determined to learn. to 'level-up' as my 'mentor' says. teehee ^_^ which means i have to take everything my mentor says seriously and really do it.. huhuuuuu pwede ma scared? hahahaha but i am uber in-love w/ the thought of being as good at playing this the way 'professionals' play it.

go easy on me master. lol yes, i am serious about this but you should teach me the way you teach Beginners.. haha coz i'm still far from where you are now.. lol obvious?!

Don't be a Jerk

don't be like that. don't be like the others. sigh but if you choose to be i can't do anything about it. thats your call.your decision.your shot.your *****fckin' life. sucks though. why? cause i don't want you to be a Jerk. but you are -- BEING A JERK. haha exhausting trying to get a point out but not being able to. i hope you know what i mean. if you don't. well, whatever. wala na akong magagawa. i tried. i really freakin' did. thats why i hate it so...

oh. and i hate what your becoming now. not just a jerk. but something else as well. haha sabi pa nga nang friend ko. "i talk the talk. but i don't actually walk the walk"

It's Not

"it's a choice man diba kung mag love ta."

i don't agree. you can't choose to love or not to love a person. it just happens. the choice there is whether you acknowledge the fact that you're in-love or you choose to ignore it.

i know many who've tried not to love the person they love. and it really can't be done. ignore the person, avoid the person, "forget" the person, heck. HATE the person even. you can do whatever it is that you think can change how you feel towards that person.

but you KNOW deep inside that whatever you try to do. you will always have those feelings. those "strong" emotions would always be there. :P


ok i'm done. (well not really but i'm late so my mind is now distracted) but i'm sure i've made my point. :)

The Filipino Soldier

morning people! random yet inspiring post coming at ya. :)

i thought of posting this cause while i was singing I'll Be by Edwin McCain i remembered how back in high school whenever i sang this song, i always got the chorus part wrong. cause instead to shoulder i would always say soldier. teehee

♫ i'll be your crying soldieeeeerrr ♫

 LMAO! ^_^

enihu, so because of the word soldier, i remembered my old oratorical piece. t'was really short but the meaning is great. here are the parts that i can still remember. :))

The Filipino Soldier

"If you fix your eyes upon the pages of history, you will come across the name of the soldier. His vocation is fraught with the splendor of nobility. He has no parallel in the annals of human achievements. Monuments, have been erected to his memory to perpetuate in the hearts of grateful nations a noble legacy.

History hardly records his valiant deeds in the fields of battle. The world knew little of his suffering before the cruel miasma of death. He is the fruition of the prayer of a race once shrouded in the gloom of martyrdom. He is the incarnation of a nation's ideal suppressed for eternity. 

He does not have the selfish ambition of Julius Caesar. He does not have the lust power of Alexander the Great. He does not have the imperial greed of Napoleon Bonaparte. He rises, radiant and resplendent, blessed by holy cause and holding high the Torch of Liberty.

He is the hero who stands for freedom. He know his responsibilities to his country and to his God."

A Message to . .

YOU..

hey you! yes, you. what happened? i don't really have much to tell, just that I'm honestly curious as to what came into your mind when you started being like this. of all people. you should know that you can tell me anything. :)) seriously. you've been doing it since before. why change it now? haha

and don't worry. if it's about that, i completely understand. :)) okay? i won't be offended of anything. i just want to hear it from you. then whatever it is. I'm sure I'll get it :) ako pah? the ever so uber understanding. *wink*

I'll be expecting. :)) so don't be shy. hihi won't be awkward. para dili kaayo lisod sa imu.

Arrivaderci

^^,

Why i ♥ Damon

WHY do i love Damon so much? watch the clip. oh and just to warn the HR's (Hopeless Romantic's), this video will have a million effects on you.. teehee but really at some point it warms your heart. but for the most part of it, well, it broke mine. sighs

Damon: Cute pj's.
Elena: I'm tired, Damon.

Damon: I brought you this (holds up Elena's vervain necklace)

Elena: I thought that was gone. Thank you. Please give it back.

Damon: I just have to say something—

Elena: Why do you have to say it with my necklace?

Damon: Because what I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life.

Elena: Damon, don't go there.

Damon: I just have to say it once—you just need to hear it. I love you, Elena... and it's because I love you ...I can't be selfish with you. Why you can't know this—I don't deserve you. But my brother does... God, I wish you didn't have to forget this (tear falls) ...but you do.

 *sob* *sob* *sob*

my heart breaks and i tear up every single time! :((

you can see how much Damon ♥'s Elena. he loves her so much and it's heart breaking to see him sacrifice and  keep his love because he loves his brother too. and that he knows Elena would choose Stefan over him. huuu  i feel for the guy. i mean thinking he doesn't deserve her. T_T

at one point i was really pissed off at Damon for not fighting for her love. for not trying to fight for Elena. i seriously kept screaming "Die Stefan" cause it just seemed to me that it was him who's getting in the way of those two. i just didn't get why he didn't make all his efforts for her. then i realized that he's also protecting himself. trying to spare himself of the pain of being rejected will bring. *sigh*

it's guys in flicks like these that make you believe, or more like want to believe that there are still men out there who are like this.