Hello Blog! How are you?

Hello Bloggie. Sorry I haven't been on for a really long time. There have been a lot going on. If you only knew. And sorry I neglected you, you we're my bestfriend in times of confusion and what not. You we're my escape from everything when things we're getting out of my control. And things have been like that for quite a while now. Maybe that's why I became like this, because I left you behind. I always did feel better when I had my sessions with you. Kasi with you I didn't have any fears of opening up because I knew you wouldn't judge me. Right? I knew you wouldn't. You we're just there for me. You never did let me down.

Enihu, I missed you, a lot! And I plan on getting back on track, getting you back into my life. Back to the days where I wrote for ME, for my own consumption, for my own release. Not anyone elses. Akin, ako lang. You were for MY eyes only and now I intend to keep it that way. I will write for me. And if someone else happens to come across this, then let them judge me, I wouldn't care. Right Bloggie?

Getting back on track. I missed you, writing. I hope you still haven't given up on me.

Oh, and by the way. I plan on making a new Bloggie. This one is getting old, too old I think. But don't worry. If I ever do decide to make one, some time really soon actually. I'll still visit you. And link you. And love you. You know that. *wink wink*

And Yet Again

Heart is constricted with pain. when you were once so afraid of feeling this again. when now there's nothing else you can do because yet again your faced with hurt. the kind of hurt you promised yourself once-upon-a-heartbreak-not-so-long-ago that you wouldn't want yourself to go through anytime soon. when you are just so pissed at yourself for being so feeble. for giving in so easily despite the hurt you - for countless nights - cried yourself to sleep to. for right now wanting soo badly to kick yourself in the gut cause yet again you are being completely.utterly.down-right STUPID.

For feeling so drained and exhausted cause yet again you are at a loss as to what you are supposed to do.

Im tired. all of me is.

Iwanttobestoicagain.

Arriverdercci.

It's Been 7 Years. ♥

BLOGGING HIATUS at a break once again. i seriously am sorry dear Wimpy. i've been neglecting you too much already. it just isn't right anymore. but my life has been a mix of . . well . . alot!

this is what i can say for now though. right now i am truly very very happy! i haven't felt this way in a while. not just a while. more like 7 freaking years. yes. this time i can feel as though almost everything is perfect. everything is falling into place.

and now. well. i want to thank YOU. yes. You. *sigh*

i'm seriously at a loss for words. -_-

Today - A Year Ago

WOW. today makes it officially a year when i said 'i was living a dream', as i think what transpired on this date a year ago it's amazing how i can probably retrace EVERYTHING that happened. from morning till night.

i know exactly what i was wearing, what i brought with me, what accessories i had on, who i contacted and who i talked to. i even remember the exact amount of money i had that day. YES thats how much details i remember from that day. and i also remembered texting a friend everything i felt during those times, i also remembered how he told me to just 'enjoy' the moment. 

this day was memorable for me. more special than not. and as i look back on it now, i can honestly say WOW, i almost forgot about that. as for the reason as to why this day was special? well, i'll just say thank you. i won't say why or how, but in a way you made me different. so yeah.. THANKS. :)

*update* - My Dream Day 5.14.11

i won't be talking about much. simply just pixies updates since i'm listening to Switchfoot right now and i haz only their songs in mind.. hahaha :) enihu. it started May 15 @ around lunch time when i met up w. a friend from manila. she invited me to hang out w. them and heres where the pictures start..

(the girl who made it possible for me.. ^^, muchos gracias dear Lora)

(at the mall along w/ the rest of the ezzy's accompanying Sherwin look for clothes :P)

Afterwards went to Kaye's crib to hang before some of the ezzy's leave for manila. :(

(w/ the gang. i love this! :D)
l-r: T: Lora, Me, Rorie, Chiean. B: Krix, Carol, Ash, Jannel
and of course last but most definitely not the least our prince. Kc Cal or Karchie as i like to call him. 

(Kaye Cal & Lora looking cute w/ those expressions)

(thanks mucho for the chocolates and is that coke your carrying Kaj?
haha at ang sama nang tingin ni Kaj. lol)

(bond . chikka . and apparently laugh trip w/ them :D )

(my kulit pic w/ Kaj while she's talking on the phone w. someone :P)

(couldn't help but take this pic.. haha)

after the bond session w/ Kaj we went to Croc Park thanks tito Jerry for the ride.  ^_^ got to sneak in Chiean & Lora for free. hahaha went out back. shhhh ;P I wasn't able to take much pictures @ the park but Rorie took a video. just clicky the linky.. i hope it shows. :)

After the park me, Chie & Lora went to ahead to Baby Miggy's B-day party. :)) surprise, surprise. Kaj was there. :) the usual chikka, ate a spidey man cake i think (lmao), then nagsi datingan na ang more of the ezzy's from here in DC. and WOW. they were prolly some of the funnest and most kulit people you will every meet! haha

(i first met cutie Ayyah who was seriously funny)





(a group shot taken later that night. i sooo love this pic. :))

met up again w/ Karchie and the rest of the gang to a bar downtown.  apparently Karchie's buds was going to play.  and guess who they were? drum roll puhleeease! dun dun duuuuun


(yeap! thats Dave, Igi & Emman of the now very popular SKEIGHTS band)

so yeah. thats how my Dream Day went on. :) i still could not believe how much F-U-N i had that day! :)

i soooo wish i could have more of that! :))
 enihu, till next time.

Arrivaderci!

  

*SOB*

*sigh* alam mo? grabe ka bah. grabe kayo. your making things really hard for me to handle. never in my wildest dreams did i ever think that i'd have problems concerning this. ayokong isipin na magiging issue ito but it is. and you know what the worst part of it is? it's that i have no-one to talk to about it. kung meron man matakot rin akong mag open-up. God knows how this'll end. and i'm absolutely clueless as to how to even start it.

try as i may to work this out? try as i may to even handle this dilemma? but i am breaking apart at the prospect of confirming this. this is mainly because i am scared to death about the situation. i am absolutely positively terrified of this. ayokong isipin na totoo to.

somebody. anybody. help?

Trying To Fight It

i really really am. but it's getting harder and harder. i do NOT want it to be like this. at least i don't think so.

i'm trying oh so hard to fight this cause i know, or at least i fear of the things that i might hear after.

it's really frustrating! so frustrating sarap e iyak!

i have two choices here.. either SUCK IT UP and continue being in this state or come right out and face this and see what happens.. HAAAALP!