Inspiration-Less??

wow. so it's just now that i realized that i have no special someone. no 'someone' that gives me the 'butterflies in the tummy' feeling. not looking forward to doing a particular something for the sake of doing it w/ that someone. not going to places just to see if that someone is there. i mean yeah, sure, i have crushes, heck if its just a crush were talkin' bout i have tons!

but what i am pertaining to is the real special someone, your inspiration! one that makes you look forward to the day ahead. that makes you do things you hardly do just to be able to be w/ and see him. yeah, i know. petty as it may sound to be and do those things because of a person but it's the undeniable truth.

we/you do those things just to get that fluttery feeling in your insides that YES irritates you but i know that you like it that you even get to a point where when you see him or when  your w/ him or even just the simple thought of him you get that unexplainable feeling that when heightened could result to you not being able to breathe or think or act like you normally do. ^_^

i just recently was able to move on from a supposed 'something' or more like from a someone. it was the kind of something that involved everything i mentioned above and so so much more. but much like every other story about this, it went sour. so i too have gone through the depressed, helpless, hopeless, (not to mention be & act really very truly stupid), needy, desperate and downright sad dramas as well. actually you have no idea just how much! lol and then some ;)

but enihu, after having been through the normal stuff i have finally found the strength to accept the fact that whatever is, well, IS. i then was slowly able to move on. to move on and to go on w/ my life. w/c is the one i'm having and happily (well, sort of) living right now. but like what the first part said. i have come to realize that i miss being in-♥. yeah! i miss having someone there that is reason for me to look forward to my day. that makes me take a bit more 'extra' effort in the morning before i leave just in-case i see him or bump into him. the fluttery feeling you get when your looking at him. and how your heart skips a beat when you see HIM looking at you. ^^, *sigh*

these things may and does have a huge risk of getting your heart broken and even losing yourself. but w/ the most part. it can be the most amazing thing.. 

"Lets Get Wasted" - B-day girl

hahaha okay, if you know you then you might be thinking WHAT THE FU?!!? barbie get drunk?!? hahaha and to those who really  know me would think more like . . 'HAHA yeah right! Barbie? DRINK?' yeah! you heard it right... i don't drink. (and just in-case there are sarcastic people present, by drink i meant alcoholic stuff. just to make things clear:P ait?!!)

enihu! the title actually is addressed BY-TO-& FOR my very very dear friend JOANNA "ROUGE" LIM..

you see this dudette right here is celebrating a new chapter in her life.. char! at ang seryoso nang phrase.. but really i just wanted to say to my dear..

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

LOTSA HUG!

MUUUUAH!

BYE - - -

*SIGH*

*SOB* *SOB* *SOB* 

Blessed

same as the one i posted on my FB wall. a rundown of all the awesome people who showed some love on my twenTEEN-first b-day! :)) so this is now the updated version. :)

• 78 Facebook Wall post greets
• 17 messages still on FB
• 27 chats (FB)
• 26 texts
• 6 calls
• nth power of how awesome my family were.
• & 6 awesome people who celebrated w/ me till the break of dawn.. 
• ^_^ kulang nalang nun we were wearing proper attire-ations para makapag simbang gabi.. LOL = special mention to the two awesome(s) na hinatid talaga ako sa bahay kahit late na. and to the one who insisted we walk from damosa to our place.. haha
• THANKIE also to Sir Alex (Light Repast) for the free rounds of booze para sa kanila.. and for being so patient kahit na inabutan kami nang anong oras.. LOL

TO MY EVER DEAREST FAMILY FOR MAKING MY B-DAY POSSIBLE! :)) KAHIT I WAS A PAIN AT SOME POINT (HECK I THINK KAHIT NGAYON LOL) SA INYO, THANKS FOR STRETCHING YOUR PATIENCE TO IT'S VERY LAST ACRES PARA LANG PAGBIGYAN AKO! :)) esp. Te Chic & Kuya for the efforts sa pag luto .. and of course te for the efforts sa pag bili nang gifts.. :) LOVE YOU!

another special thanks to Batch 1 or more like the pre-birthday part held at CDO. it was weird, crazy, confusing & irritating but SUPER FUN experience.. :) thankz Bro Olik for that :))

A Jumble of FUDGES!!

disclaimer? i have no idea how this post is going to come together. but just to let you all know. i am saying what i feel. and since it's MY page? i'm going to write whatever i want.

ok here goes.

i have this "mood" lately. it's, well, - like what my title states - A JUMBLE..

to put things in simplest terms. i've been a BITCH!

and it is only now that i admit this. tot he people who really know me. to those who cared enough to really understand how i am.

THE MEANER AND BITCHIER I AM?! is equivalent to how fucked up i feel..

meaning, the more i act like a bitch the more i want to break down and cry.. and thats when i need you guys more!!

Too Much! :(

i don't get how some people can be very VERY STUBBORN!! ikaw! oo ikaw, you'd know i was referring to you when you read this. please lang hah.. i already said my piece. and this post right here is just to validate what i said during our countless convo's. you are truly very stubborn. you already know how i feel, how i felt. now can you please stop insisting and lets be civil.

we had our chance. and i tried. i really REALLY tried. but i just didn't feel it. and now I'd like us to be what we were before. and you know pretty damn well that we could be if you'd just get it through your head that we can't be what you want us to be. kapoy man gud ug maka walag gana every time you insist na we give it another shot. i've made up my mind. and i've told you that for many times now. 

i ask you now. PLEASE. let it go. wag mo na pilitin. stop na. kay i feel na mu lang nang maka daot sa atong friendship. pasensyoso baya ko when it comes to my friends. but your being way too kulit. and its irritating na.. please stop it na. lets just be what i'm trying us to be.. FRIENDS ok?

oh and by the way. 

i apologize for whatever transpired sa chat exchange nyo nang bestfriend ko. i'll get the facts later but if it's what led you to do what you just did then i'm sorry.

Two Places

"The only two places where i feel absolutely safe are either in a bed with fresh, white sheets and pillows surrounding my head. or in water. like in the bottom of a swimming pool. alone. weightless. peaceful. nobody talking. nobody pretending. just being them. those are the only two places. everywhere else i get smacked in th face with arrogance, ignorance & shallowness. they knock me down and leave me bleeding on the floor."

Another WANT! :P oh please!

heeeee!! i found another thing i'd live to have on my b.day! :)) a Clip-on Digital Guitar Tuner! oh please please please!! i seriously want this!! i saw one at the mall and fell in-love w/ it right away! huuu! Paging all my loved ones! haha please?!? lol

(here's a preview! yes! i NEED this!)

i also have more books i want bought.. i'll add on the titles in a while.. :))

It just can't Be

kahit anong pilit mo man, if it ain't meant to be, it can NEVER be. lets just say that -- according to the philisophers of HIMYM -- it's the universe at work. :)) so wag nang pilitin please? lets not risk the friendship, cause as a friend you are close to perfect, and what we had before everything (and what i meant by everything i meant YOU) started getting weird. our friendship was real, perfect & strong. i want to get things back to the way they were. nanghinayang ko sa bond that we were able to build.

i mean seriously, people were actually JEALOUS of what we had. and i know that how we treated each-other would've made other people wish they had that. :)) just say na it's okay. that you'll be okay w/ it. and i'll forget that whatever happened did actually happen.. Hear My Plea . i miss you! haha

consider it :))

Huggy

Menu ;P

Anong foods nga raw ang gusto ko?! ano nga bah? LOL hmmm

• Kinilaw - i have to have kinilaw! it's a must! hahahaha ;P the people who know me would know why.
• Hilaw na Mangga - YES! i want this! soooo badly! haha :P
• Fried Bagoong - for the mangga and for other things ;P
• Barbecue - w/ Clara Ole na sauce! ;P
• Choco Mousse - sa Red Ribbon! yes! started this tradition sa previous.. :)
• Leche Flan - flaaaaaaan do i have to explaain? LOL
• Frozen Yogurt - as.in UNLIMITED!! bwahahah
• Hazelnut Brownie Icecream - YES! the Selecta Gold Series one.. :))

the rest of the foods kayo na bahala.. wahahaha whatever you think na gutso nyo :)) basta i'm good w/ those above.. LOL

What I Want ;P

teehee! So it'll be 12/7 in about 11mins (take to account the fact that i based the time on when i started composing ;D just to be clear :P). so enihu, in exactly 14 days it'll be my birthday!! so i wasn't really the material gifts, extravagant party, food & everything kabonggahan planned type and i'm still not. i'm really more on the chill on my day, get rest, do the usuals, no handa aside from the must haves for ME (cravings that can't really eat or have on regular days due to the hole in me' pocket reason) but other than that, just give me cash and i'm happy. :))

but now i'm reeeeally low on cash so imma list down the things i badly want/need and would be highly appreciated if given to me stuff haha ;) the ones in yellow are the one's who got the takers. so sure na yan na i'll be getting on my b.day LOL

• DSLR Camera - ok fine, i know this is next to impossible but gina ligawan ko pa si Papa to buy me this. as-in i said it would be an equivalent of 3 b.days, xmus's, new years and all other occasions na no need na nya ako bigyan nang gift :))
• Nokia C3 phone - hard to please eh?! haha no really this is just random, we just recently talked about this phone and thought the features were perfect for me. this ain't a priority though :))
• "Relax, puso lang yan, malayo sa Bituka" PLANNER 2011 - love this! thankie dude for the heads up about this :)) bilhan raw ako ni ate chic nito so it's considered DONE! Boooyah! haha thankie te! 
• "Akala mo lang wala nang Slumbook . . ." - still by the same people who made the Planner 2011. :)) their products are ahmeeeyzing.. :))
• Chicken Soup for the Girls Soul - i have wanted to own chicken soup books for sooo long now. i just don't have the cash. *sob*
• Chicken Soup for the Romantic Soul - i love chicken soup so shut it! more to come.. LOL
• Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul I-IV - i'll take any of the 4.. LOL

ok. i know i have more books i want bought. plus other stuff. but i kinda have a mental ugh now so i'll continue this tomorrow.. :))

Arrivaderci

;P

Seriously?!!?

why the FUDGE is it that people resort to pathetic backstabbing and out-of-the-way-Bitchiness to get a message across the person they have issues with? how the fuck are they supposed to know what your problem is with them if you talk about it to other people?! unsay gusto nimu? sa lain tao pa nako ma dunggan nga naa diay kay kalain sa ako?! coz seriously? i am sincerely blind to what your problem is with me. last time we hung out and talked you were ok. tapos ngayon ganyan ka?! tang-'na naman eh!

what sucks more about whats happening is - i considered you one of the few people who gets me completely. who understood me like how I understood you. we had a bond, or was i the only one who felt that? i seriously thought that i could expect YOU to tell it to me straight if i ever did something to make you change your approach towards me. i guess i was wrong.

it's sad that it had to get this way. pero dili pud ko ang tipo nga tao nga mu take ug ani na treatment and act as.if nothing happened. not when your going on and being bitchy saying God knows what about me behind my back. i guess it's that part of you that i didn't know. i had no idea you operated this way. NEVER ni sulod sa akong isip na you could end up being a traitor to those who thought ONLY THE BEST OF YOU.

sad how it got like this. but since ikaw ang may problema sa ako. i'm going to wait for YOU to come and talk. 

Last Bit Of Patience

GAAAH!seriously nauubos na pasensya ko sa inyo!! ang kitid nang mga utak ninyo! i am seriously on the deep end! i've tried to be understanding and even backed off sa situation kay alam ko how you feel and i know that it's normal to feel that way. but get real! i mean What The FUUUUDGE! i am minding my own freakin business here! ewan ko lang kung sadyang nag papa blind lang talaga kayo, but i happen to be doing things for You're benefit!

you people act like i committed a federal crime what with the way you react. i know what you guys think is happening. and this is where the "Kitid nang Utak" part comes in. i mean you people believe the things you think is happening or what you believe is going on is what actually is, but reality check?! and this time try - and i mean seriously really try to consider that you guys are wrong maybe?

what you people are accusing me of, i know is wrong. and i know for a fact that i absolutely will not have anything to do with such acts. di naman kasi ako tanga to get myself involved in such a mess.

WAG KASI KAYO AGAD2x mag jump to conclusions. get to know the person first. it may pain you to do so but it helps.. and if the said person who according to you people are "ruining your lives" is TRYING to make things right by showing you in many ways that what your thinking is wrong. wag kayong ma pride. go for it. KILALANIN nyo muna. if na confirm nyo then go! patuloy nyo loathing the person. pero pag nakita nyo naman na hindi. GIVE THE PERSON A FREAKIN BREAK!

grabe na ang pag expand to sa pasensya ko bah. it's just frustrating knowing that your being accused of something that you know your 100% innocent. di ko rin naman kasi kasalanan if i'm like this. ganito talaga ako by nature! ask everyone, please! i beg of you. haha kahit sino who really knows me would know that what i do and how i act goes with every other person i consider a friend.

*sigh* kapoy kaayo mag vent knowing it wouldn't change anything. the usual crying session and more venting would help..

OH, and just so you people know? just so you are aware? i STILL don't have any hard feelings towards you. i just hope you learn to understand and accept the fact that no foul is done. just mis-interpreted actions. my conscience is CLEAN.. 

5-Day Vay-cay! :|

Hey2x! update mode! :)


so we were given a very DE-LISH-OUS 5-day vacation from school. so from sat-wed we were school free! heaven knows what the others were up to. as for me however, i made the most out of those 5 days! i have a feeling others took the 5-days as a chance to catch up on their Zzz's :) planned on doing the same BUT as expected had more important things to take care of (at kung makapag-salita parang kung ano talaga ka importante ang ginawa eh noh?) haha so to start off the recap.


DAY-1 Saturday (11.27.10)


revived the 'home-buddy' in me. really gave myself time to chillax. nothing really exciting happened this day. just did my usuals pag nasa bahay lang ako. Read, Net, bond w/ pangkin, Eat, OOh! and used my dearest Guitar again! (though kulang nang string ang baby ko, i made do. :) i really missed it. and HEY! found out i could still play.. haha Yay me)


DAY-2 Sunday (11.28.10)


my sunday was more uneventful than that of my saturday. did basically the same stuff as the day before. Oh, and BTW, had no sleep on these days.. and why you may ask? blame it on HIMYM (How I Met Your Mother) - if for some demented reason you don't know what that is. well, it's only one of the awesome-est sitcom there is! hahaha yeah. so every night is my HIMYM night. started Season 3 on day 1 of my Vay-cay day.. :)


DAY-3 Monday (11.29.10)


*eerie music starts*


haha the start of Rougie's Invasion of Ramona! (a.k.a my house) the dude was surprisingly early sa bahay. and as expected, she felt right at home. haha so majority of the time she was there, we practiced songs to play on our upcoming "Gig" trip. LOL we practiced this one song that made my fingers practically CRY! seriously! we took such a long time learning and perfecting it that my fingers throbbed! and the deathly finger killing song? Butterfly by Jason Mraz. hahah YEAP! when we finally got the whole song in just one take, all the other songs seemed like a snitch!


other songs played: Bad Romance, Head Over Feet, Kiss Me, etc. fergot the rest.. haha


DAY-4 Tuesday (11.30.10)


Day 2 of rougie's invasion sa bahay as well!
went swimming again with the Rouge-ster! haha and we had a plus 1 sa swim trip this time. twaz one of the rangers Weggy. haha started being human fishies (who can't swim :P) at about 1-ish. went home about quarter to 9.. haha talk about SWIM huh?! it was really fun though, during the swim breaks mag Jam, then eat, then swim again. when we got home gutom sobra si Rougie so we ate. (weggy got the sniffles *sad*) then played Poker & chikicha. hahah that's bout it.. haha :)


DAY-5 Wednesday (12.1.10)


Ohh My Freeeeeaak! it's finally december 1! what the fudge?! it's the 1st official day of the start of the yuletide season and i don't feel the spirit of Christmas! not one bit?! this is sad! :((


Day 3 of rougies bahay invasion!
enihu, so the last day of the Vay-cay was more than interesting! teehee i get the giggles when i think about it! haha started when nagpaparinig ako kay ate about wanting to eat Sundae sa McDo hoping mag treat siya, it worked only she made us buy half a galon na Double Dutch & Rocky Road (specifics much? :D), enihu, so bumili kami then saw na may new frozen yogurt store that opened. we bought w/o realizing na short pala kami sa cash since we both did't bring our wallets. Stooopid much?! hehe so we were short on cash and had to borrow from Sir Alex (owner sa bar where i always hung-out.) ULAW MUCH? haha


FF. sa house. we got our wallets and got ready to go back sa bar to give back the money we borrowed. then decided to bring the guitar seeing na wala naman masyado tao dun.. thought we would stay and jam for a while, entertain the people na andun.. haha so nag jam na kami and there was this one costumer na mejo old na but still ok. :) he complimented us and talked tas of course knowing me and Rouge naki interact naman kami, it wasn't hard being nice to him. he sounded really sincere when he said "sana makita ko kayo playing dito soon ha? aabangan ko kayo" - something like that :P.. FF. to when we were about to go home. we asked for the bill and they said na it was taken care of na raw. and we were like by who? sabi it was manong kuya who paid for what we ordered! hahaha AWESOME HUH?!!? sad though na we weren't able to say thank you. had we known that he paid he would've gotten tons of thankies from us.. haha


after that we just bought sundae's.went home.tumambay sa room.nag tong-its then that was it! haha


So that's the summary of my 5-Day Vay-cay! not as exciting as the others may have had but it was good enough for me :))


Happy i finally have a 'happenings update' :D


till then
Arrivaderci
^_~